A First Trip To Italy  

"Oh my God, you HAVE to go there, it was so unbelievably beautiful, no seriously, you don't understand. First we went to the [name of famous fountain], and with the children playing in it and the sunset over the [nearby famous river], it was like a page out of a picturebook. Then we visited the [famous church] and we walked through it and seriously felt the presence of God, when I looked at the [noteworthy fresco], I came to understand what Jesus really meant. So then we travelled by [train/vespa/bicycle] through the countryside to [quaint little mountain town] to avoid the tourists, where the townspeople still made candles by hand and the chocolate there was just amazing, and then it rained and afterwards it was like a Thomas Kinkade painting. You HAVE to go there, it's not as expensive as you think, only eight thousand dollars. So then after our dinner of [pasta dish with Italian name, pronounced with exaggerated Italian accent to convey assimilation of and respect for the language], we took a gondola ride, which no one else has ever done before, and it was just the two of us, and we gazed up at the stars and fell in love anew.

We're totally going back next year."