parents were gone and i was charged with picking up some things from the grocery so i took a walk and see nothing wrong with sharing some pictures i took along the way.  
     
   
     
 

left house and turned right, looking down norton avenue. about 90 degrees, which is apparently so abnormally hot here that everyone was yammering on the news and locals were all braced for a heat emergency. there was no humidity at all, and any new yorker would have found it quite comfortable and temperate.

the view looks out over san francisco bay.

 
     
     
   
     
  i had made note that since my arrival, i hadn't seen a single cop. here, i finally see one, so my first dumb instinct is to take a picture. then i realized what a poor idea that was, and these fellows stopped and glared at me as i walked by to make sure i wasn't a rowdy character out wilding. i put on my jewishest face and walked on.  
     
     
   
     
  this area of oakland is up in the eastern hills and is very pretty. winding roads, interesting mediterranean-styled houses and colorful, overflowing plantlife. it smells like really strong perfume everywhere, and there are many varieties of large butterflies.  
     
     
   
     
  this house is pink.  
     
     
   
     
   
     
  some typical houses. finding any with second floors is very rare in this area.  
     
     
   
     
  the climate in the region -- no snow, no road salt and very little humidity for most of the year -- is such that old cars are preserved extremely well. alameda and berkeley are considered the epicenter of original on-the-road classic cars, most still with their first owners.  
     
     
   
     
  functional windmill to harness the power of wind EQUAL RIGHTS FOR ALPACAS  
     
     
   
     
  long descent down maple avenue, which leads down to the browner oakland, where i had to go to get my groceries. this is where the "Two Oaklands" merge.  
     
     
   
     
  see?  
     
     
   
     
  maple meets up with macarthur, and i turn right. things are suddenly very different and interesting.  
     
     
   
     
  all throughout oakland, things simply seem unchanged from the 50's. maybe it's similar to the old cars, that the climate allows old things to persist outdoors, or maybe it's just a part of the culture.  
     
     
   
     
  previously: Cancer, and Harm to You and the Environment  
     
     
   
     
   
     
  their odor prices are very reasonable (for mildew i say go elsewhere).  
     
     
   
     
  what?  
     
     
   
     
  previously: Made Completely Wrong  
     
     
   
     
   
     
   
     
  does it really? are you sure?  
     
     
   
     
   
     
   
     
  everything about this is confusing.  
     
     
   
     
  you want host with black bean and garlic sauce? you so big eat vegetable!  
     
     
   
     
   
     
  seriously?  
     
     
   
     
  i actually thought this was some yiddish word until i realized i was an idiot. also all hail raider nation.  
     
     
   
     
  i arrived at farmer joe's, bought carrots basil and red onion, and left.  
     
     
   
     
  in the middle of all this shit there are occasionally these very tasteful buildings. the rest are just awful with a capital ALL THE LETTERS ARE CAPITAL.  
     
     
   
     
  but even though the neighborhood is bad, there is always a pretty view of the hills where whiteys like my parents hide.  
     
     
   
     
   
     
  shrug i just thought the mural was cute, but you can make a crack about holistic veterinary science if you'd like. some patchoulli will cure those heartworms, etc.  
     
     
   
     
  unchanged, and in perfect repair.  
     
     
   
     
  hahahahahahahah this is the best  
     
     
   
     
   
     
   
     
   
     
 

do they even have irony in china?

 
     
     
   
     
  the mormon spaceship can be seen for something like 20 miles.  
     
     
   
     
  deeuurrrgh  
     
     
   
     
  don't make me say it a third time!  
     
     
 
 
     
  sure why not  
     
     
   
     
   
     
  the cheese house is gone. i repeat, the cheese house is no more.  
     
     
 
 
     
  this is actually a thing that exists.  
     
     
   
     
  christ as lord? such wackiness.  
     
     
   
     
  this way, it's always donut time.  
     
     
   
     
 
 
     
  looking up midvale, one of the steepest streets in redwood heights. parents almost bought a house on this street. i would live in constant fear of accidentally having rollerblades on.  
     
     
   
     
     
   
     
  back home for a refreshing glass of wine...  
     
     
   
     
  ...before settling down to watch indy battle fearsome feces warriors.